|I went to a BBQ. It was a loaded gun.|
Even though the question was innocent--TOTALLY innocent--my insecurities pick up on a connotation. An invention of my own panicky ambition.
The connotation says, "You aren't doing anything productive with your life. So get on it."
My mouth stumbles out a few goals and recent achievements, but I felt ambushed. Was there something about me that screamed, "You are one heel-click away from DEADBEAT"? Was I jealous b/c the questioneer had just announced that she was going to be submitting her thesis this week?
I dunno. I do know that the questioneer meant nothing by it, and that I tend to whig out too much over my own progression, success, and careers.
How do I know this? It's b/c I'm NOT in a static phase in my life. In fact, I can't remember a time that I ever was in a static phase...not since I left for college.
And at the risk of sounding resume-y, here's my evidence:
In college I published 4 short stories in 2 different journals.
I wrote for the UVU paper for a year.
I won 2nd place in a writing competition.
I've written 3 full length novels and published one as a Kindle before the age of 28.
For a year, I had my own bi-weekly book review column in a local paper.
I started a weight-loss blog, which after pitching to REDBOOK, landed me a feature in the May 2011 issue.
and I interviewed for and landed a job writing for one of the largest paper's in Utah.
In my education field:
I have a BS in English Ed.
I have a reading endorsement
I've been recognized with a couple of awards
I've gone to a handful of conferences
And most importantly, my family:
I have two great, healthy kids and an AWESOME husband.
My siblings are the coolest, and I love that my parents are nearby.
(I'd also like to add the BGW crew as surrogate family.)
I really am blessed.
So why is it that I felt like I'd been double-bounced on a trampoline when I heard that question?
Clearly, I've been working my butt off to further my careers and still actively maintain my "mom" role.
Haven't I done enough?
Nope. The fire in me burns freakishly bright.
What is next for me? Cuz it's not as if I'm stopping now.