Stupid Prezi ate my newsletter.

I've been working on a Prezi newsletter for the past month that when finished would have family photos, cool captions, little blurbs of our life, and a dizzying visual effect, but...

Stupid Prezi ate my newsletter. That's not entirely accurate. The last few times I brought it up to edit it for final touches, Prezi took FOREVER to load and then froze my computer long enough for me to throw my hands in the air and declare the battle a loss. You win, Prezi. You win.

So here I am, back at my trusty blogger site. I'm just going to give the low-down of my family right here. Where it's safe. And the words don't spin and dip while you read them. (I'm pretty sure the Prezi version would've made my grandma want to hurl.)

So guess who's progeny is into Harry Potter now? Mine. Ugh. How did this happen?

We'll start with Layne. She's 7 and asked me what a period was the other day, so I'm pretty sure she's growing up too damn fast. I mean she graduated from kindergarten in May, for Dr. Seuss' sake! She shouldn't be asking me about that stuff until she's old enough to find Mr. Darcy the most attractive fictional character in print. (And bonus points if she finds him doubly attractive as a zombie-fighting aristocrat.)

Captain Underpants. At least he got over that slight slip of the tongue when he would pronounce "truck" like a very very bad word.

Then there's Gavin. He's 3, almost 4, and is in a punching phase right now. To recap he's also experienced the "spitting phase", "growling phase", "wearing-nothing-but-underwear-all-day" phase, "wearing-only-batman-and-superman-jammie-tops phase", and "threatening-to-hit-you-in-the-face-if-you-don't-turn-on-Toy-Story-right-now phase". He can revert back into any one of these phases depending on his mood and my mood. I just know to clear outta there when he growls, "Hulk Smash".

bad family photos 2011

Cole next. He started blogging a little bit on the side at Political Z-search and Z? I'm not mad! He was also a Payson correspondent for the Daily Herald for 5 months this year and still works full-time for the UVU Library. He got a dog in the summer, which we affectionately named William the Bloody after this William the Bloody, but nick-named him Spike. Unfortunately, right after Cole gave Spike his first bath, Spike has attached himself to me like a feisty Mexican parasite. (Did I mention Spike's part Chihuahua?) Now Spike spends most of his time trying to protect me from the strange cacophony coming from the laundry room on laundry day or biting the hem of my jeans while I'm dancing/doing the dishes in the kitchen.

Then there's me. If you don't know anything about what's going on in my life, then you haven't been reading my blog due to a flare up of Amish-itis. What else could it be? Get well soon, for when you do, here's links to some of the highlights of my year:

What's not to love with a mug like that?

•  I shared a mag with the Kardashians
• They pay me to do that
• Cellulite, my frenemy
• Where I got my tan and food poisoning
• Gam City; where apparently nick-names follow you home
• Side job # 346
• Where I learned about pre-writing and zombie haiku. (Arguably the best lessons I could learn from a powerpoint slide show.)
• Mulder didn't show, but "the truth was out there" and he had a handlebar mustache

Merry Christmas, e-friends and e-family and real friends and real family.

(See this post for something more reverent.)

Til next year. And sorry you have nothing to hang on the fridge this year. I guess if you're that needy, you could simply print this out, but don't hang it up with that Perky Plumber magnet. That's just tacky. And clearly we are one classy bunch.