Wednesday, April 11, 2012

James Joycian post: New Girl

Once in a while, I like to post my stream of consciousness, because why should James Joyce have all the fun. And just to make it even more difficult to follow, I like to write it while watching some TV show. Today I picked an episode of New Girl with Zoey Deschanel.

So here we go.

She's so cute. I love her clothes. I wish I could look that cute as a brunette.
That guy looks like ...

My laptop is burning my legs. Switch position.

OOOh is that the guy who used to play James Bond? What is that guy on?

Zoey, what the hell? Are you wearing a sandwich board with Miss Monogamy on it? What the what? Hmm...

My phone keeps buzzing for people to play Words with Friends. I'm tempted. Not giving in. Not giving in.

North Korea and Math are a thing? they go hand in hand? I would've thought the joke would've been North Korea and crazy evil dictators go hand in hand.

OOoh shoes. pant pant pant. 
I want those blue pumps.
I should've gotten those other blue pumps I saw at Payless the other day. hmm...

I can do lunges like that. With weights too.

I knew a guy who memorized facts a lot. He was pretty smart. But spent a lot of time making other people feel stupid that they didn't memorize useless facts. Why are brilliant types always dumbasses too. I bet a brilliant person would say something like, "That is a paradoxical statement. A person cannot be a genius and not smart simultanblah blah blah."

"The credit score of homeless ghost" hahahaha.
"Are you driving a lawn mower?" Awesome. Feels like that sometimes with my 1998 minivan, which we named Master and Commander. For the irony.

What is that guy on? Not James Bond. Pause to look it up.

Dermot Mulroney. 

Who the hell is that?
Looking up IMDb...

... My Best Friend's Wedding! Duh. He's Julia Roberts love-interest. Not even close to Bond. oops.

He's getting old. But still looks good.
Is he hitting on Zoey? Nice coat, Zoey. Love it.
Glee commercial. That show sucks now. But my fave Sue Sylvester quote is--
--Oh my gosh those are the shoes I just said I shoulda gotten at Payless!

Looking for picture...

Yep. Shoe-gasm.

Back to Sue's quote...

 "I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your house and punch you in the face.’’


Unpause New Girl. Why isn't it The New Girl. Is our economy so poor that we have to limit our articles?

I just got my hair done today. I shoulda styled it.

Cute dress Zoey.
"Veto a law" hahaha.
I seriously want that dress.
"I think I understand hunting." hahaha.

So now every time I see that dude, I can only think about that line from My Best Friend's Wedding, where that weird lady was like..."Kimmy. Kimmy."

Best line of the show:
"I just came in here and it smelled like Shakespeare, if Shakespeare were a damn cowboy. And a hawk's nest, and boat fuel, and cigars and stuff!"

Did that toilet open itself? hahaha.
That's how you spell bidet. I guess that makes sense. It's French, right? Etymology, Rena. Etymology.

Another great line. "He smells like strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse."

That dialogue sucked. 

Who's Jodeci?

Pause to look it up.
90s R&B artist. Famous for Freek'N You (spelled exactly like that.)
Watching video. Link for you to see.

Is that Whitney Houston?
Oh Geez.
But now I get the joke from New Girl.

Back to the show, b/c I cannot handle all the gyrating against the hotel hallway walls.

Zoey just fell in the pond. HAHAHAHAHA.

OK. Show over.

That is always fun. 


  1. I might have to stop reading your blog because it repeatedly makes me feel old. Who's Jodeci? Clearly you never attended a highschool dance in 1992.

  2. Don't feel old. I do know some 90's R&B references. Salt n' Peppa, New Edition, Dr. Dre, Brandi, Monica, Boyz II Men, Notorious BIG, Mariah Carey, and Destiny's Child.

    Mostly I know these because they were big names in the 90s, but I did NOT listen to R&B. I listened to country during a short year of my life, and then I discovered Nirvana and never looked back.

  3. Don't either one of you be talking about feeling old, or I'll have to slap you both. Try dancing around the kitchen and singing along to a tune on the radio, and then having the lying so-and-so DJ say the tune came out in nineteen fifty-something. Now, THAT makes ya feel old!

    Oh, and it is absolutely possible for someone to be brilliant and a dumb ass at the same time. A couple brilliant engineers who used to work with my husband, and I'm talking about smartest guys in the world kinda brilliant, with all kinds of advanced degrees in physics, regularly locked their car keys in the car. While the car was still running ...

    Thanks for visiting my blog and signing on as a new follower, Rena. 'Twas my pleasure to return the favor. Count me in as your newest follower.

  4. I like the show New Girl. Hilarious word Shoe-gasm.

    1. Thanks, can't take credit for it though. But I can't remember where I got the word either. =(

  5. this was great, rena. thanks for stopping by, and being my number 100!

  6. That was so funny! Love your "stream".
    a to z -er at, I found you on danneromero's blog! Love this blog hop, makes me write.

    1. Thanks! Checked your blog too. =) following!

  7. LOL, I love the James Joyce idea! What a clever J- post. Never been here before but love your blog, and you're from Utah. Yay! New follower! *waving*

    Nice to meet you, and I hope you're enjoying the Challenge!

    A to Z Challenge Host

    1. Hey fellow Utahn! I guess I'm not actually a Utahn. I've only lived here for 12-13 years. Geez. Does that make me a native? Like how they have common law marriages? Am I now in a common law marriage with Utah? hm...

      I think I'm still "streaming".

  8. You are brilliant. I love James Joyce and this was extremely funny.
    thanks for the unique and amazing entry!

    jean yates

  9. Great post. Must admit I struggle with Joyce but probably because he's too clever for me.

    Good luck with the rest of the challenge :)

    1. If only Ulysses was as easy to read as my version of streaming, eh? I'm with you. I'm not a huge JJ fan. I just stole his stream of consciousness style.



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