Gavin (5yo): Mom, I think I have a crush on Ryker (neighbor boy).
Gavin: Wait. What's a crush?
Me: Um...(how to explain this to a 5yo?)...it's when you like someone a lot and maybe want to marry them someday.
Gavin: Oh. Then, never mind. I don't have that. I have a crush, like I want to wrestle him.
Me: Like you want to crush him?
Me: No crushing on Sunday.
Sometimes, Forrest chucks a cat underneath my car, which I then drag, unawares, under my car for a quarter-mile on the interstate until someone in a duly motions for me to pull over to save the cat. (Spoiler: the cat lived and actually sprinted off into the residential neighborhood beyond the interstate.)
Sometimes, Forrest hijacks the web, leaving me an email with a random song from my past. "Usa la forca, Luke."
Sometimes, Forrest pours Left Field inventory into my subconscious, and I get a weird dream so real that my skin doesn't feel like mine in the morning. (Could be that I watched Alien last night.)
Sometimes, it's not Forrest at all, and I'm the architect of my own randomness, like in this conversation with my friend D.
Me: We still on for 6 tonight?
PS. I found a jamba coupon! Buy one get one for a dollar, and it expires tomorrow. That my friend is FATE.The stars have aligned.
D: Ah the glorious, glorious coupon gods have surely smiled upon thee!
- D: Oh, praises that will be sung! Truly, your tale shall live on through all ages.
- Me: Erect the statues.
- D: Establish feasts!
- Me: Fashion a plaque that states, "Hail the Coupon Queen" written in blood.
- Virgin blood.
Sidebar: If I do end up developing this Left Field thing into a story, one ironic part will be that Forrest doesn't know anything about baseball.
What has Left Field tossed at you lately?