Monday, September 23, 2013

Left Field probably started memes.

You know that phrase "it came out of left field"? I like to imagine Left Field as the name of a warehouse containing all of the bizarre things that life throws at me. Left Field is run by a techy dude who could be Rivers Cuomo's doppelganger--because let's be honest, most male characters in my mind end up looking like the lead singer of Weezer at one point or another--who chucks stuff into a liquid portal, masquerading as a brick wall, which leads straight into my life. Sometimes Forrest (That's Rivers's doppelganger's name) sprinkles some words into the mouth of my son like this Sunday in church: 

Gavin (5yo): Mom, I think I have a crush on Ryker (neighbor boy).
Me: Really?
Gavin: Wait. What's a crush?
Me: Um...(how to explain this to a 5yo?)'s when you like someone a lot and maybe want to marry them someday.
Gavin: Oh. Then, never mind. I don't have that. I have a crush, like I want to wrestle him.
Me: Like you want to crush him?
Gavin: Yeah.
Me: No crushing on Sunday.

Sometimes, Forrest chucks a cat underneath my car, which I then drag, unawares, under my car for a quarter-mile on the interstate until someone in a duly motions for me to pull over to save the cat. (Spoiler: the cat lived and actually sprinted off into the residential neighborhood beyond the interstate.)

Sometimes, Forrest hijacks the web, leaving me an email with a random song from my past. "Usa la forca, Luke."

Sometimes, Forrest pours Left Field inventory into my subconscious, and I get a weird dream so real that my skin doesn't feel like mine in the morning. (Could be that I watched Alien last night.)

Sometimes, it's not Forrest at all, and I'm the architect of my own randomness, like in this conversation with my friend D.

  • Me: We still on for 6 tonight?

  • D: Heck yes. I mean: conservative cool response

  • Me: lol
    PS. I found a jamba coupon! Buy one get one for a dollar, and it expires tomorrow. That my friend is FATE.The stars have aligned.

  • D: Ah the glorious, glorious coupon gods have surely smiled upon thee!

  • Me: Yes. With their tridents made of sale papers and crown of 2 for 1 cans of tuna.

  • D: And so shall shine forth the rays of a coupon scanner, all red and crossed!

    Me: Leaving a dollar sign stigmata on the breast of its patrons.
  • D: Oh, praises that will be sung! Truly, your tale shall live on through all ages.
  • Me: Erect the statues.
  • D: Establish feasts!
  • Me: Fashion a plaque that states, "Hail the Coupon Queen" written in blood.
  • Virgin blood.

  • D: I know a good donor.

  • Me: lol.

  • D: Good times.

Sidebar: If I do end up developing this Left Field thing into a story, one ironic part will be that Forrest doesn't know anything about baseball.

What has Left Field tossed at you lately?

Monday, September 9, 2013

SLC Comic Con: an amalgam of nerds, cosplay, and girlish squeals.

Among other things, my bucket list includes working on a project with Joss Whedon, having a NY Times bestseller, seeing/meeting an actor from Buffy in real life, and attending a comic con. As of this weekend, I can scratch two of those things off my list.

I attended the first ever SLC Comic Con this weekend! Hizzah!

A guy dressed in a zombie chased us down while trying to get this photo.

1. Seeing Glory.
She's so sweet in real life. I didn't see her shoes, but I assume they were fierce just like in Buffy.

2. Seeing Xander.
[Insert girlish squeal here.]

3. Someone came dressed as Sharknado. Seriously, I found my people. Here's the link to her pic.

4. Cosplay! Cosplay! Coplay!
Layne is dressed as Violet Baudelaire.
Cole went as Ripper from Buffy, and I'm the 10th doctor.
5. Watching a Power Ranger do a flip over 7 audience members.

6. Gavin thinking Comic Con was his own personal parade. He waved like Miss America to everyone he passed. He said "Hello" to every other Batman and villain. Some wanted to get a picture with him, and one Poison Ivy asked him for his autograph. =) People are cool.

7. Props like this:


Not cool parts: 
1. Waiting in line for an hour to get in and missing the Aquabats because of it.

2. There were so many people, it was worse than the Color Festival. I couldn't let go of the kids hands or they'd disappear. Someone working concessions said they kept count, and on Saturday 51 children lost their moms. Scary. The fire marshall threatened to shut Comic Con down. They had to stop letting people for ten minutes at a time, giving time for people to leave before they added more. Seems like poor planning, however, I think the organizers underestimated the sheer volume of nerds in our community. Next year will be better.

This is actually a pretty tame moment. Not too crowded. We could breathe for a sec.
Who you gonna call? Violet Baudelaire, Ghostbusters, or Batman?

3. Food prices were astronomical! $16 for a salad, bagel, and two snack bags of chips.
Gimme your money!

4. I only saw two workshops. I wanted to go to two other ones, but I had my kids with me and I didn't want them to be bored. I don't think I'll bring them next time, but Layne is already planning her costume for 2014. Maybe I'll get the three-day pass and take her for one day and go by myself or with Cole on the other days.

5. I didn't see anyone dressed as The Bloggess.


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