Monday, July 24, 2017

No, I Don't Wanna See That! An Online Dating Story

I haven't talked much about this publicly, but I got divorced in May. It's been both good and bad, simple and complicated. Regardless, I'm dating again. I've made some incredible friends, and I'm exploring Utah's nightlife as a single woman. I've found online dating to be enjoyable and weird, exhilarating and heartbreaking. Not much has changed since the last time I was single, fifteen years ago. Well, one thing is different. [Shrugs.] I'm wittier now.


The inquiries are typically stale, and even the more inventive ones seem day-old bread-y. But I have fun.
Seriously, dude?! Worst pick up line yet.
(Let it be noted that I only cut out a couple lines between.)

Pro tip: When you hit on an English professor, know this basic rule...
You're = you are
Your = shows possession
Also,
Herd = group of animals
Heard = involves sound in ears
I wish those were the only two mistakes, but...no. SMH.


I'm NOT dating anyone who can't get at least one of these three lit references, or, at the very least, someone who hasn't mastered the art of Googling.


More to come, friends. There is some crazy stuff on my horizon, and I can't wait to share my latest publication credit. Let's just say it rhymes with the Blashington Toast.

Love your guts,

Rena


Monday, January 2, 2017

The one where pie invades my face.

Hi friends!

Here's the much anticipated pie-in-the-kisser video as a reward for reaching over 100 newsletter subscribers.

video


What should I do if I get 200? Lick a celebrity's arm? (I am going to the Sundance Film Festival in a few weeks.) Let my kids give me a peanut butter mohawk? Get a professional face painter to draw a picture of a kangaroo with the head of Jensen Ackles on my cheek? I'll entertain other ideas.

Much love,

Rena

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